Dear Organizers,
I am facing a classic dilemma: I really like BBQ but dislike both Chris Battle and Chris McGowen.
Would it be possible to have them prepare and cook and all the food, but keep them in the kitchen during the party?
Wondering in Washington
Friday, June 19, 2009
DC versus Alabama
This showdown is really about settling a score. Everyone always asks me, "How does Alabama compare to DC?" I think they are asking about the BBQ, but I think there are more important aspects to consider. I mean DC has been said to be first in war, first in peace, and last in the American League, but that doesn't even make sense anymore since the Nats are in the National League.
According to this website, Alabama ranks last in the US in:
So it becomes clear that they have been regretting not voting for Orval Faubus in the 1960 presidential election ever since. The bitterness from that legacy remains pungently in the taste of their BBQ. And where would their economy be if the had a greater change in exports to Honduras? It's obvious the Hondurans want nothing to do with their BBQ.
Let's take a quick look at DC's superiority:
DC is last in
So to summarize, we are the smallest area, with the most overweight people due to the deliciosity of our BBQ, the lowest suicide rate because of said BBQ, small household size so we don't have to share, and we have the fewest male/female ratio. Our men have learned to cook BBQ out of necessity and we all know that necessity is the mother of invention.
See you on the 11th.
According to this website, Alabama ranks last in the US in:
| Education > Public Libraries > Library Visits per Capita |
| Presidential Elections > 1960 > Popular Votes for Orval Faubus |
| Trade > Exports to Honduras > Percent Change 2004-2005 |
So it becomes clear that they have been regretting not voting for Orval Faubus in the 1960 presidential election ever since. The bitterness from that legacy remains pungently in the taste of their BBQ. And where would their economy be if the had a greater change in exports to Honduras? It's obvious the Hondurans want nothing to do with their BBQ.
Let's take a quick look at DC's superiority:
DC is last in
| Geography > Land area |
| Health > Overweight and Obesity Rate |
| Health > Suicides |
| Lifestyle > Average Household Size |
| People > Sex Ratio |
So to summarize, we are the smallest area, with the most overweight people due to the deliciosity of our BBQ, the lowest suicide rate because of said BBQ, small household size so we don't have to share, and we have the fewest male/female ratio. Our men have learned to cook BBQ out of necessity and we all know that necessity is the mother of invention.
Res ipsa loquitur, bamas. That should resonate with all you DC lawyers and Latin fans.
See you on the 11th.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
BBQ Showdown
We realize that in these tough economic times your entertainment dollar is hard to command, but there is a free was to enjoy yourself and fill your belly with some delicious BBQ. I know a lot of you think we are referring to the American Association for Nude Recreation's attempt to set a Guinness Book of World Record for skinny dipping, but we are actually inviting you to a BBQ. See the map and other details on this blog. Chris McGowen & I are two pretty obviously macho dudes and you can see us get the measuring tape out to decide who has got the most. The most delicious BBQ. Join us for BBQ, keg beers, and even some Bocce. And if we have enough brews we'll have a dance off. Saturday, July 11th.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
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